Perspective

At the end of the day, I have to be thankful that Ava is okay.  When we took Ava to the Ophthalmologist last Tuesday, we had no idea what could be causing such horrible pain in her eye.  This pain left her screaming, crying, clawing at her eye, thrashing around on the floor.  It is incredibly hard to see your child in so much pain and not be able to help.

It turns out that the glitter on a head band of a costume that Ava wore had gotten in BOTH of her eyes.  The glitter in her left eye was lodged in her cornea and starting to rust.  To safely remove the glitter, Ava would have to be put under general anesthesia.  I had so many hesitations.  Ava is a very fearful child.  How would this experience affect her going forward?  What if those minor risks associated with the surgery become a reality?  What affect would the anesthesia have on her?  How much pain would she be in after the surgery?  Etc, etc.  But Ava couldn't go on living with this pain, so we scheduled her surgery for this past Friday.

Everything went well pre-surgery.  We woke Ava up in the morning, took her straight to the car and headed to the hospital.  She asked questions and accepted our brief answers.  We're going to get your eye fixed.  It's not going to hurt.  Your eye will feel so much better.  

Despite the very hospital-feel of the Outpatient Surgery Center, Ava did not freak out like I expected.  She was easily distracted by coloring and sticker and cartoons.  Once they gave her Versed, an amnesia-inducing medicine that works like Valium, we thought the worst was over.  It was actually hilarious to see Ava under the influence of Versed.  

They came and and wheeled her off to surgery in a wagon with her Teddy.  No problems.  Yet.

Once they got her to the operating room, they put a mask on her face to put her to sleep and they started the IV for the anesthesia.  The nurse warned us that kids coming off anesthesia can have one or more reactions that could last for an hour or two:  1) They can be tired and cranky, 2)  They can be silly and dream-like and 3)  They can be REALLY pissed.  Tim and I both knew how Ava would react.  We thought we were prepared for the worst, but we had no idea.

The nurse told me that they would only allow one of us to go to the recovery room to be with Ava because there would be other kids in there and there wasn't enough room for every kid to have both parents.  When the nurse came to get one of us, she said, "Ava is screaming."  I jumped up and rushed out the door.  My first sight of Ava was frightening.  I can't get the image out of my head.  The best way I can think to describe it is like an Exorcism.  It looked like she was possessed by the devil.  The nurse was doing her best to hold her down in the chair and Ava was putting up the fight of her life.  I ran up to Ava and told her who I was.  She reached for me and I sat down in the chair holding her.  Almost immediately the screaming and thrashing started up again.  There was a patch over her eye that she kept trying to rip off.  When I got her hand away from her eye she'd try to rip out her IV.  When I got her hand away from her IV she'd try to rip the blood/oxygen sensor off her big toe.  All the while she is thrashing and screaming and crying and inconsolable.  I'm struggling to hold on to her.  The nurse assures me that this is a normal reaction.  I asked the nurse if we could take all this off of her.  She agrees to call the doctor to ask for permission.  It's taking FOREVER.  I let Ava rip off the patch covering her eye.  Then I warn the nurse that I'm going to let her take out the IV so she may want to come help.  By the way, there are no other kids in the recovery room, just me, Ava and a bunch of nurses standing around staring at the spectacle we are making.  Why is it that only one parent can be in this GIANT, EMPTY room.  As I nearly drop Ava on the ground, I am now screaming at the nurses to get my husband.  THREE times.  GO GET MY HUSBAND.  We are just trying to help you, Mam.  IF YOU WANT TO HELP THAN GO GET MY HUSBAND.  NOW!  Not my best moment.

Tim comes in the recovery room and takes over.  I am exhausted.  I've had no sleep due to my 3 week old baby, I've been wresting with the strongest 4 year old on the planet and I'm fighting back the urge to break down and cry.  We decide that it would be better to get Ava back to her hospital room where we can have some privacy.  Unfortunately, Ava's behavior continues for another 30 minutes or so.  Now she is screaming I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE!  I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!  That's my Ava.  Even under the influence of heavy drugs she knows what she wants and won't give up until she gets it.  She is becoming more coherent and after another 10 minutes we are allowed to leave.  This is the first time Ava has relaxed since she woke up from the surgery.  She falls asleep on me.  The nurse says she'll probably sleep most of the afternoon.  They don't know Ava.  I carry her to the car and she sleeps next to me as Tim drives us home.  Peace.

We got home at 11:15 am.  Ava woke up when we got her out of the car and she woke up pissed again.  Not as pissed as when we were at the hospital but not at all happy.  She does not sleep again until after 9 pm despite the nurse's certainty that she would sleep all afternoon.  Ava has never been a "typical" child and our experience with Ava in this situation is anything but typical.  It isn't until about noon when Ava finally calms down and watches TV.  After several hours of cartoons, the Ava I know and love is back.  Thank you God.

Ava doesn't remember much about this ordeal.  The Versed is amnesia-inducing which is very fortunate for a fearful child.  Now that this situation is behind us and life is back to normal I have gained some perspective.  I am thankful that Ava is healthy.  I am thankful that this problem is resolved.  I am thankful that we don't have bigger health problems to deal with.  I am thankful for my mom who was there to help us whenever we needed her.  But mostly I am thankful for Ava.  Ava has always been a challenging little girl.  There are days - many days - when she pushes me past my limits.  Going through this experience with her reminded me just how much I love her.  I would do anything for her and I can't imagine life without her.

PS - I STILL HATE GLITTER!

P.S. - I HATE GLITTER

Have I mentioned how much I hate glitter?  I love arts and crafts projects, but you'll notice that none of them involve glitter.  Initially, I hated glitter because no matter how much you clean, you cannot get rid of it.  Today my hatred grew even deeper.  I wanted to share my story with you to hopefully prevent this from happening to any of your kids.  Especially with Christmas on the way - it seems like it's impossible for companies to make Christmas decorations without using glitter.

My mom and dad selflessly offered to take Ava and Sidney for FOUR nights when Clara was born.  The morning after the fourth night, my mom called.  I knew this couldn't be good.  My mom would never want to bother us early in the morning on our first day at home with Clara.  Apparently Ava had woken up screaming in pain.  There was something in her eye.  My mom did everything she could to help her but after an hour she was concerned enough to call us.  My mom mentioned that she had bought dress up costumes for the girls and Ava's costume came with a head band...that had glitter on it.  Is it possible that some of the glitter got in her eye?  I called the Pediatrician and she agreed to see her that morning (did I mention that I just had a baby 3 days ago!).  She looked in Ava's eye but saw no signs of abrasion to her cornea.  She said that if the pain continued for 24-36 hours that we'd need to see a Pediatric Ophthalmologist.  But the pain stopped.  In fact, Ava didn't have any eye pain for almost 3 weeks.  We figured that whatever was bothering her eye had flushed itself out.

This past weekend, Ava woke up screaming in pain.  It was her eye again.  Her left eye.  I can't even remember which eye was bothering her three weeks ago.  This time the pain lasted for longer and came and went over two days so I got an appointment with a Pediatric Ophthalmologist.  He looked at her eyes though those super magnifying lenses and not only did her left eye have a "foreign object" (aka; glitter) in it but so did her right eye!!!!  In her right eye, the glitter was on the white part of the eye, whereas her left eye had glitter on the cornea which is likely why her left eye was hurting so badly.  My poor mom - I know she feels badly that this happened but in no way is it her fault.  She is so good to my family.  Too good actually.  We feel endlessly indebted to her for all the amazing, thoughtful and selfless things she does for us.  The other day Tim asked me if I thought I would be as good a grandma some day and I said No and Tim agreed with me!  My mom is way too good of a person to live up too.  Please, don't feel bad Mom!

Our options for removing the glitter are all bad.  We could try numbing her eyes with drops and extracting the glitter but how do we get a 4 year old to lay still and not move her eyes as the doctor sticks a sharp instrument in it???  We could try using laughing gas, but we may still face the same problems with eye movement since laughing gas doesn't knock you out.  The other alternative is to put her under general anesthesia and remove the glitter.  We know this will work.  While I'm not thrilled about putting my 4 year old under anesthesia, my main hesitation is that Ava is a very fearful, anxious kid.  I am so scared for how this experience will affect her long-term.  I had my adenoids removed when I was Ava's age and I remember everything to this day.  I can only imagine how Ava will feel after all of this.  The only hope I have is that one of the drugs that they use to knock her out is amnesia-inducing.  They claim that she won't remember a thing about the surgery.  That also kind of freaks me out.

Our only other alternative is to "wait and see".  The glitter will eventually slough off and will not cause damage to her eyes while we wait, but how long it will take is the big question.  It's been 3 weeks since the glitter got in her eyes.  How much longer do we have to wait???  The doctor thinks 2-3 more weeks.  Ugh...

For now I've decided to schedule the surgery for one week from now.  If Ava's in a ton of pain and discomfort during the next week then we'll go ahead with the surgery.  If the pain subsides, we'll cancel the surgery and wait longer in the hopes that the problems fixes itself.

I cannot believe how much trouble this glitter has caused.  I cannot believe that a child's costume could be so problematic.  Please be careful the next time the face painter wants to sprinkle glitter on your child's face as a finishing touch or the next time the hair stylist wants to spray glitter on your little girl's head after cutting and styling their hair or the next time you pull a glittered-up princess dress over your child's head.  I really hate glitter.  It is now banned forever from my house.

Election Day Pumpkin Poppers

Can you believe that Halloween has already come and gone and it's already Election Day?!  We didn't have as many trick-or-treaters this year (possibly because we didn't know our doorbell was broken until 7pm!) so now we have a ton of left over Take 5 Bars.  Not good for my post pregnancy weight loss efforts.  I cannot resist a Take 5 Bar.

Clara celebrated her first Halloween - my little pumpkin.  She slept through most of the action.

Ava and Sidney, a couple of tasty cupcakes, trick-or-treated with their cousins around our neighborhood.

In case you are like me and have not tired of pumpkin-y treats, here is a yummy recipe for Pumpkin Poppers that I found on Pinterest.  Be warned: these are super sugary and delicious!  When I ate the first one, I thought they were too sweet and was disappointed and before I knew it I had eaten 6 of them!  I guess they were just sweet enough ;)

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp allspice
1/8 tsp ground cloves
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 cup pumpkin
1/2 cup milk

For Coating:
1 stick unsalted butter, melted
2/3 cup sugar
2 Tbsp cinnamon

Instructions:
1.  Preheat oven to 350 F and spray mini muffin tins with non-stick baking spray.
2.  Combine flour, baking powder, salt, and spices in a bowl and whisk until combine.
3.  In another bowl, mix oil, brown sugar, egg, vanilla, pumpkin, and milk.  
4.  Pour in flour mixture and mix until just combined.  
5.  Fill mini muffin tins until almost full and bake for 10-12 minutes.  
6.  Meanwhile, melt butter in small bowl.  
7.  Mix sugar and cinnamon in a separate small bowl.  
8.  After poppers cool for a few minutes, dip them in the butter and roll them in the sugar mixture. 

These make a great breakfast treat!

Happy Election Day!  Get out and VOTE!

Monthly Baby Growth Photos

My dad worked at a photography company all my life so my childhood was well documented in photos.  Capturing memories in photos has always been a part of my life.  I have more photo albums than I can count.  Now that I have three little ones, the number of photos that I take has as least tripled.

When Ava was born, my dad won a "new baby basket" at a silent auction.  In that baby basket was this doll.

We couldn't believe that Ava was barely bigger than the doll so, of course, we took a picture to remember how little she was.  Every month until she turned one year old, I took a picture of Ava laying next to the doll (it became much harder to do this as she neared her first birthday, but we did it!).  It was fun to line up the pictures in her baby book and see how much she grew over the year.  When Sidney was born we took her picture next to the doll each month and now we're doing the same with Clara.

Here are the pictures of my girls as newborns compared to the doll:

Newborn Ava - 6 lbs 12 oz & 19.75 inches

Newborn Sidney - 6 lbs 1 oz & 18 inches

Newborn Clara - 6 lbs 12 oz & 20 inches

One thing that is crazy to me is how alike my girls look as newborns.  Do all newborn babies look the same???

Baked Eggplant

Baby Clara is loving her sponge baths.  That makes one of us that is showering!

This is a recipe that I tried out before Clara was born.  I saw a pin on Pinterest titled "The Grilled Eggplant Recipe That Got 100K+ Repins".  I really like eggplant so I decided to give it a try.  Let me start by saying that I didn't grill the eggplant, which is why my recipe is called Baked Eggplant.  Second, while Tim and I both enjoyed the meal, I'm not sure it warrants 100k+ pins.  Maybe it would have been a 5 star recipe if the eggplant was in season or if I'd used the grill.  I'll let you try it out and decide for yourself. 

Ingredients:
2 medium eggplant
3 large tomatoes, to match the diameter of the eggplant
8 oz feta cheese, crumbled
1 cup fresh basil leaves + 8 extra leaves for topping
Juice of lemon
4 garlic cloves
½ cup extra-virgin olive oil
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper to taste

Instructions:
1.  Arrange oven rack in the middle position.  Place tin foil under the rack.  Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2.  Cut of the eggplant crosswise into ½” thick rounds. Lightly season them with salt and leave them for 30 minutes on a side to let water to come out of the eggplant.

3.  Once ready drizzle some olive oil on top of each slice and "grill" them on the middle oven rack for 2 -3 minutes each side.  Set aside.

4.  Blend the basil leaves with 6-8 tablespoons olive oil, garlic cloves, lemon juice, 2 teaspoons salt and ground pepper in a blender until smooth.

5.  Cut the tomatoes crosswise to 1/4” thick rounds.

6.  Cover a baking pan in foil and lightly oil the baking pan.  Arrange eggplant rounds side by side.  Spread 1/2 tablespoon of the basil-garlic mixture on top of each one, then generously sprinkle feta crumbs. Top each with tomato rings. Add another layer of eggplant, basil spread, feta and tomato rounds and top with the rest of the crumbled feta.  I ran out of feta cheese so I topped it off with grated Parmesan.

7.  Drizzle some olive oil on top of each stack and bake for 15 minutes.

8.  Remove from the oven and top with chopped basil leaves.  This is great with a side of pasta.

Servings: 3-4

Stuffed Cookies

Before Clara was born, I did a lot of baking.  I knew that I wouldn't have any time to bake after she arrived and I was craving some treats.  Here is one of the goodies I baked...and a quick picture of my 3 favorite ladies.

My husband is always teasing me about how when I like certain things, like say pretzels and chocolate and caramel, I find ways to bake them all together.  I happen to think it's a brilliant idea that results in a power-packed bite of pure goodness.  My latest creation is the Stuffed Cookie.  I made a batch of cookies using my favorite cookie recipe and then divided the batter in half.  I stuffed half of the batter with Mini Rolos, pretzels, PB chips and chocolate chips (my attempt to re-create the Take 5 candy bar) and the other half of the batter I stuffed with Bunch-a-Crunch and pretzels.

Pretzel Crunch Cookies 

Take 5 Cookies

I surprised at how much I loved the Bunch-a-Crunch and pretzel cookies!  My "Take 5 Cookies" didn't turn out quite as I expected - the caramel in the Mini Rolos caused the cookies to spread and they probably needed to be baked longer - but they were still good.  I've learned a big lesson as well: I don't like peanut butter chips.  I thought I did, but this is the second time I've used them with cookies and I just don't like them.  I will probably try to perfect my "Take 5 Cookies" again.  I'll keep you posted.

Ingredients:
1 stick softened butter 
¼ cup + 2 Tbsp sugar 
¼ cup + 2 Tbsp brown sugar 
1 egg 
½ tsp vanilla 
1 ¼ cups flour 
½ tsp baking soda 
½ tsp salt
Cookie "stuffings" (I used Bunch-a-Crunch and broken pretzels for half of the batch and quartered Mini Rolos, broken pretzels, Reeces PB chips and milk chocolate chips for the other half batch.)
Sea Salt

Instructions:
1.  Adjust oven rack to the middle position.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. 
2.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
3.  In a large bowl, beat together butter, white sugar, brown sugar, egg and vanilla until creamy.
4.  In a separate bowl combine flour, baking soda and salt in large bowl and mix thoroughly. 
5.  Slowly add dry ingredients to wet and mix. 
6.  Add your cookie "stuffings" of choice, stir until just combined.
7.  Drop by the spoonful onto the cookie sheet.  If you used Rolos, the caramel will make the cookies spread so leave some room between cookies.
8.  Sprinkle sea salt on the cookies.
9.  Bake for 7–9 minutes, or until golden brown, but still soft. 
10.  Let cool on baking sheet before transferring to cookie rack.

Yield: 18-20 cookies